Two Blowouts, A Perfect End to a Perfect Day: ruminations of a retired priest
“If you would just relax around the pain rather than resist it, this will not hurt.” Without missing a beat Margaret waxed on, “One day you will be grateful for all of the pains you have endured.”
Some 30 years ago I was lying on my Rolfer’s table, wincing with excruciating pain. For those of you who may have missed the alternative medicine available in Santa Fe, New Mexico, Rolfing is a ten session program intending to realign the body structure and function through deep tissue pressure. Rolfing is not to be confused with massage. In other words, it is not intended to produce relaxation. Rolfing systematically works on the connective tissues throughout the body, driving hard into the heart of physical pain and releasing emotional trauma along the way.
In any case, during my third or fourth Rolfing session when tightening my shoulder muscles in resistance to the intrusion of Margaret the Rolfer’s elbow piercing my scapula, Margaret counseled, “If you would just relax around the pain rather than resist it, this will not hurt.” Without missing a beat Margaret waxed on, “One day you will be grateful for all of the pains you have endured.”
It was a good thing I paid for all ten sessions in advance because I seriously considered leaping off Margaret’s table to limp away and lick my wounds. I tell you this story because it is the first experience that erupts on my thought horizon when I hear Paul’s counsel to the Romans, “And not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us.” (See below)
My second testy thought is much the same. It happened several years post the rude Rolfing intrusion during a Spiritual Direction session with Fr. Thomas Keating, renown teacher of Centering Prayer and practices for Contemplative Living. After listening to me pour out my soul, recounting my burdensome bouts of baseless anxiety, Thomas threw back his gangly arms and with a grin that stretched from here to heaven sang, “Welcome, welcome, welcome. Debra, welcome the anxiety as an invitation to meet the Spirit of God right here.” Truth be told, the eyes of my heart were rolling! “Really Thomas?”
“Paul, Margaret, Thomas, what are you saying?” I believe the key to understanding their counsel lies in where it lands, “God’s love poured into our hearts…” Regardless of our anxiety, anguish or affliction, “the Holy Spirit of God has been given to us.” When life is flowing along smoothly and we are basking in sumptuous sunsets or soaked in the scent of a newborn’s breath, it is easy to proclaim, “I found God.” Lovely as they are, these moments are fleeting and frankly, they do not amplify our faith.
By contrast, wisdom points to the not so beautiful moments as opportunities to mature our faith by welcoming rather than resisting them. How do we welcome our anxiety, anguish or affliction? How do we relax around the edges of our pain?” For me the only way to do so is by remembering the conclusion of Paul and Thomas’ counsel, “The Holy Spirit of God is with me, especially in my suffering.” Saying “Yes” to the present moment is saying “Yes” to the Spirit of God. This is the substance of my faith, faith that holds me in relationship with All That Is Holy, faith that enables me to peacefully endure even my most recent trial.
After spending a glorious day snow shoeing amidst the shine and shadow of pine and wintery aspen, while descending the narrow mountain road I had a brief but baleful encounter with a cavernous pothole. Not one, but two tire blowouts on my new car. Waiting for AAA to rescue me from the tottering edge of the mountain I prayed, “Welcome, welcome, welcome. I let go of my desire for things to be other than they are.” And waited. A perfect end to a perfect day.
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Romans 5.1–5 Since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have obtained access to this grace in which we stand; and we boast in our hope of sharing the glory of God. And not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us.
