Jeweled Breadcrumb #24 : beyond any measure of doubt, i am
thunderstorms and tyrants bluster
i am
unmoved
earth quarrels quakes and fillabusters
i am
collected
shrill sirens perforate and scream
i am
silence
rumors of war threaten thirst’s dream
i am
peace
though my tongue tests
“God, where are you?”
and my body like a crazed cat frets
touched beyond doubt
I AM
holds my trembling hand
then i am
courage
Breadcrumb
Moses is about the business of tending his father-in-law Jethro’s sheep when he notices a “bush that is blazing away but did not burn up.” God calls to Moses from the flames, telling Moses he is standing on holy ground and that God has heard the cry of the brutally oppressed people of Israel. Now God wants Moses to go to the oppressor tyrant Pharaoh and demand he set the Israelites free. Stunned, Moses recoils, “Me? How can I, a mere shepherd, possibly do that?” God assures Moses, “I will be with you. Then Moses says to God, “Suppose I go to the People of Israel and I tell them, ‘The God of your fathers sent me to you’; and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ What do I tell them?” God said to Moses, “I-AM-That-I-AM That. Tell the People of Israel, ‘I-AM sent me to you.’” ( Summary of Exodus 3.1–14)
Imagine a philosopher pondering on Moses’ behalf, “I AM that I AM that; derived from the verb ‘to be,’ that must mean, I exist. How can it be enough to say “I exist?”
How can it be sufficient to exist without a recognizable image? How can it be enough to claim existence with neither subject nor predicate?” It reminds me of Shakespeare’s Prince Hamlet moaning as he ponders suicide, “To be, or not to be…?” To exist or not to exist. That is the question.” And God’s echo resounds, “I exist. I AM.”
If it is enough for God, can it be enough for me?
God chooses not to identify God’s self as either subject or predicate, which is to say, God refuses to be confined to either object or essence. Rather, God identifies God’s self as the copula, the linking word, the gap between this and that. God identifies God’s self as ‘existence’ that connects or binds together. I AM.
God continues, “Moses, Moses, “I will be with you….” In other words, I, your God, AM bound with you, I coexist with you. I Am One with you and your ancestors. We are intimately bound, before and beyond time. Existence is … enough.”
Sustaining as God’s response to Moses may seem, it does not comfort Moses or me. What are the people going to think when I say, “I AM sent me?” This is the question with which I wrestle. How can I tell the people with whom I work or go to the gym about my experience of this I AM God that I cannot see or touch or frankly find words sufficient to describe? What shall I say when critics query, “Where do you get the authority to write these words?” Oh dear!
In the course of God’s conversation with Moses, God attests, “I have been, I AM, and I will be” in relationship with you. Into the spaciousness of his original question, “God, what is your name?” Moses finally receives a sure response, “My name is forever I AM, and I AM forever with you.” Touched beyond any measure of doubt, Moses is changed, and so am i. Emboldened to do what is impossible in the company of God, Moses sets out to confront the pharaoh and free the enslaved Hebrew people. In the company of God i am courage, born in a thundering mind and quaking body.
Thank you for reading these words,
written by grace and the grit of a real human being. Debra Asis
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The assignment that brings me to the writing of these words is to unapologetically tell the story of how God nudges, cajoles, drop kicks and masters me to be the real human being that I am … becoming … following God’s Jeweled Breadcrumbs. My daily writing challenge for 2025 is to share the Breadcrumbs with you.
You may also visit me at https://www.debraasis.org/
