Good News in Difficult Words — about divorce

Having been divorced, remarried, and divorced again I want to shout, “Hay God, Jesus’ words about divorce cannot be right. (Mark 10.2–16) Furthermore, the Church has used them to do much harm. Do you know how many broken hearted Roman Catholics turn away from You because once divorced their priest refuses to give them communion? Do You know how many men and women want nothing to do with a Church that refuses to affirm their love? Jesus’ words have caused too much harm.”

Although presuming to know Jesus’ intention when instructing the disciples and us is rather bold, considering his first century honor shame society and his overarching message of compassion and inclusion, I find it impossible to interpret Jesus’ words about divorce as merciless and prohibitive. What then? By reading this text out of context and making a direct leap from the first century to current time, not only do we miss the radically liberating message that Jesus is delivering for women and children, we also create another group of outcasts deemed unworthy to participate in the Church.

What if instead of using Jesus’ words as warrant to dishonor people by excluding them from Rites at God’s Table the Church heard Jesus’ words as instruction to elevate the value of women and children?

Men alone could be honored or dishonored in the first century. Women had no voice, no vote, essentially no value. Therefore a man could not commit adultery against his wife because she had no position of honor to be offended. When Jesus says, “whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her…” he elevates the value of a woman to be equal to that of a man. This is revolutionary. This is good.

On another note, the Pharisees are interested in the issue of legality, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” Jesus is interested in relationship.

“Man shall leave father and mother and be joined to wife….” This is another seditious departure from the culture in which marriage as we know did not exist. In Jesus’ context families offer their daughter and son to consolidate honorable relationships between the families. The man did not leave father and mother, rather he was a negotiating chip enhancing the family’s honor in a brokered deal, a business transaction that joined two families with an eye toward enhancing honor. More good news for relationships.

In his not so subtle and subversive way our inveterate troublemaker Jesus elevates the relationship of a man and woman from a legalistic business arrangement to a union mediated by God. “What God has joined together let no one separate.” Jesus is not interested in dividing, he is all about unifying. Twice he says, “They are no longer two but one…”

“From the beginning of creation” humanity, all of us, are called to unifying consciousness but because of our ‘hardness of heart’ we set our minds on matters that divide rather than unify. We turn away from one another and from God. We could call this divorce consciousness. Its signature is discord, division and disunity. Dare I suggest this is the prevailing form of consciousness in our country today?

From the beginning of creation we are meant to live in concord and community. No one is less than or more than. No one is to be left out, which brings us to Jesus’ reproach of the disciples who are trying to prevent the children from bothering him. “Let the children come to me.”

Once again our rebel Jesus is stirring the pot. In his culture children have no value but much as he does with women, Jesus elevates the status of children as he takes “them up in his arms, lays his hands on them, and blesses them.”

Without pointing fingers or assigning blame Jesus makes it crystal clear, the way things are is not good enough and I believe the difficult words of this text invite us to do the same. Look carefully for divorce consciousness in the written and unwritten laws in our community, our country and our hearts. Notice where we set our minds on matters that foster discord and division. Confess that we have turned away from God’s unifying consciousness. Amend our lives to be in communion with each other and creation. Choose one: divorce consciousness or unifying consciousness. Choose.