Frozen or Free: ruminations of a retired priest
I fear we will freeze our children, as well as our selves, as caterpillars; that we will never take the risk ridden leap into murky uncertainty, allow the small self we think we are to melt away, sprout wings and be transformed into butterflies.
When Cleopas and his unidentified friend recognized the stranger who saddled up to them while they were walking away from Jerusalem, eating their hearts out over the horrific murder of their teacher Jesus, I suspect they hoped their resurrected experience of Jesus would change back into what Jesus always had been; the flesh and blood rabbi whom they believed would turn the status quo upside and free them to sit on top. But instead, along with Jesus’ flesh and blood, the outlook for redemption sprouted wings and leaped from startling to stunning places. (See text from Luke below.)
When three career cycles and more than a few decades ago I decided to evacuate my privileged East Coast academic post and head to Santa Fe, New Mexico to do, well, I had no idea what, the people I called friend and colleague treated me as if I was dead, which, in some measure I guess I was. Refusing the rat race to sure up my prestige and pocket book, and having no idea what comes next, I spun my Santa Fe cocoon and melted into a murky pupa before sprouting wings. (To be completely transparent, this was not the last time I lost myself in the incommodious belly of the whale, or, sticking with the metaphor, melted into a puddle of pupa.)
When was the last time you lost your self? Perhaps lamenting the breaking news stories of the suffering and death of innocent people? When have you heard yourself saying, “Can you believe it, a girl shot dead in a driveway when she makes a wrong turn? A boy shot twice when he rings the doorbell of the wrong house while attempting to collect his twin siblings? Did you know, in the first three months of 2023 sixty nine acts of hostility against places of worship in the US occurred including the bombing and burning of black churches and the vandalism of mosques and synagogues?” https://www.asisonline.org/security-management-magazine/articles/2023/03/extremism-and-houses-of-worship/underlying-extremism-motivations/ access April 18,2023
Can you hear yourself whining to a friend, “When I voted for (fill in the blank) for mayor, governor, representative, senator or president, I was hoping s/he would be the one to turn the social, political and religious tides around and finally redeem life in my town and country. But things are melting down. There is nothing but suffering and death.”
What if your friend called you out saying, “Oh, how foolish you are, and how slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have declared!” Then, starting with Prehistory, proceeded to outline the evolution of human society, politics and religion, noting how violence and wickedness are passed hand to hand through the ages even as human consciousness sprouts wings to leap from inordinate concern with survival, to asserting ones own worth and extending the same dignity to others, then flying high above self interest to declare the beauty of infinite diversity and finally settling to pollinate the flower of common good? Oh how slow of heart you are, putting your faith in suffering and death.”
Can you imagine the fate of a hungry caterpillar if she had no vision beyond eating out her own heart? “All is lost. I am destined to lose this slinky beveled body and be a blob of pupa?” Which reminds me of Eric Carle’s classic children’s book, The Very Hungry Caterpillar. This is a story of a tiny caterpillar who against all odds and much opposition, retreats into a cocoon, melts into a gooey mess and is transformed into a butterfly. A whimsical story of creativity and hope in the midst of uncertainty and change.
But the wisdom of the wise has banned this childhood tale of growth and transformation for fear young minds will be tainted by “outdated stereotypes,” or that the caterpillar’s enormous appetite will set the stage for kids to become obese, or that gender roles are not adequately represented. (Not sure how you do that with caterpillars???) I fear our fear will freeze our children, as well as our selves, as caterpillars; that we will refuse to take the risk ridden leap into murky uncertainty that allows the small self who we think we are to melt away, sprout wings and be transformed into a butterfly.
To contact me please visit my website www.debraasis.org
Luke 24:13–35 Now on that same day two of Jesus’ disciples were going to a village called Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem, and talking with each other about all these things that had happened. While they were talking and discussing, Jesus himself came near and went with them, but their eyes were kept from recognizing him. And he said to them, “What are you discussing with each other while you walk along?” They stood still, looking sad. Then one of them, whose name was Cleopas, answered him, “Are you the only stranger in Jerusalem who does not know the things that have taken place there in these days?” He asked them, “What things?” They replied, “The things about Jesus of Nazareth, who was a prophet mighty in deed and word before God and all the people, and how our chief priests and leaders handed him over to be condemned to death and crucified him. But we had hoped that he was the one to redeem Israel. Yes, and besides all this, it is now the third day since these things took place. Moreover, some women of our group astounded us. They were at the tomb early this morning, and when they did not find his body there, they came back and told us that they had indeed seen a vision of angels who said that he was alive. Some of those who were with us went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said; but they did not see him.” Then he said to them, “Oh, how foolish you are, and how slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have declared! Was it not necessary that the Messiah should suffer these things and then enter into his glory?” Then beginning with Moses and all the prophets, he interpreted to them the things about himself in all the scriptures.
As they came near the village to which they were going, he walked ahead as if he were going on. But they urged him strongly, saying, “Stay with us, because it is almost evening and the day is now nearly over.” So he went in to stay with them. When he was at the table with them, he took bread, blessed and broke it, and gave it to them. Then their eyes were opened, and they recognized him; and he vanished from their sight. They said to each other, “Were not our hearts burning within us while he was talking to us on the road, while he was opening the scriptures to us?” That same hour they got up and returned to Jerusalem; and they found the eleven and their companions gathered together. They were saying, “The Lord has risen indeed, and he has appeared to Simon!” Then they told what had happened on the road, and how he had been made known to them in the breaking of the bread.
To contact me please visit my website www.debraasis.org
