Formless & Void: Ruminations of a recently retired priest
Like a star born of its nebulous cloud of gas and dust, it is out of the formless void of our impotence, incompetence and innocence that the light we are meant to be is born.
I have no idea how WordDaily.com found my new email inbox. But, on a feckless yesterday it tickled my tongue with this onomatopoia, tohubohu.
Tohubohu. My world was “formless and void” when tohubohu broke into my inbox. What is the meaning of this? Derived from the Hebrew “tōhū wa-ḇōhū,” found in Genesis 1.2, tohubohu points to the world just before the creation of light when the world was “formless and void.”
Why does the melodious mouthful, tohubohu, soothe my shiftless soul? Because it not only describes the current condition of this recently retired priest (formless and void) it also harbors hope (for the creation of light). Like a star born within cold clouds of turbulent gas and dust, tohubohu promises the light that I long for will be born in the cloudy depths of my unsettledness. From the beginning this is the way of creation. “The earth was without form and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep; and the Spirit of God was moving over the face of the waters… and there was light.” (Genesis 1.2–3)
Which sets me stumbling over the finale of Jesus’ sermon to the crowds on the hill near the Sea of Galilee. (Matthew 5.13–20) Setting the stage for a righteous life Jesus proclaims, “You are the light of the world.” If we humans are indeed the light of the world (and who wants to argue with Jesus?) I believe we must begin by asking, “What is this light that we are meant to be?”
Surely the light of the world that we are meant to be is not a swell headed spot light centering attention on the inventory of our stellar accomplishments. No doubt that limelight will boomerang and illumine all the ways we have stumbled and been bankrupt.
Surely the light of the world that we are meant to be is not a trumpet turning attention to our generous, gifted, good or even marginally acceptable selves. That notoriety heralds catastrophe for in such rarified air we humans cannot breath.
I believe the light that we are meant to be is the illusive light born within the tohubohu waters of our soul. This is the light that from the beginning makes Divine Presence known in ordinary, unexceptional, even undesirable circumstances. The irony is this. Like a star born of its nebulous cloud of gas and dust, it is out of the formless void of our impotence, incompetence and innocence that the light we are meant to be is born.
Where does this plant the feet of this feckless priest? I can think of no better description than found in a John O’ Donohue poem that recently broke a bit of light in my mostly dark snail mailbox.
This is where your life has arrived,
After all the years of effort and toil;
Look back with graciousness and thanks
On all your great and quiet achievements
You stand on the shore of new invitation
To open your life to what is left undone;
Let your heart enjoy a different rhythm
When drawn to the wonder of other horizons.
Have the courage for a new approach to time;
Allow it to slow until you find freedom
To draw alongside the mystery you hold
And befriend your own beauty of soul.
Now is the time to enjoy your heart’s desire,
To live the dreams you’ve waited for,
To awaken the depths beyond your work
And enter into your infinite source.
Today I consent to plant my feet “alongside the mystery I hold” and wait for the light I am meant to be to rise within the tohubohu waters of my soul. Will you join me welcoming the formless void? Will you consent to the mystery and wonder?
Matthew 5:13–20
Jesus said, “You are the salt of the earth; but if salt has lost its taste, how can its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything, but is thrown out and trampled under foot.
“You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hid. No one after lighting a lamp puts it under the bushel basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.
“Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets; I have come not to abolish but to fulfill. For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth pass away, not one letter, not one stroke of a letter, will pass from the law until all is accomplished. Therefore, whoever breaks one of the least of these commandments, and teaches others to do the same, will be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”
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